Tag Archives: bribes

feeling like i don’t belong at the party

Dear World,

Why do my friends insist on going to house parties when they know I spend the entire time wishing I wasn’t there?

No, sorry actually I don’t want to go to that house party. I’m awkward, it’s awkward, people you don’t know actually want to talk to you, and frankly I’m a terrible drunk. Parties that are small and intimate, okay! Big parties where you abandon me? Not okay! Definitely, not okay. Stick by me and I’ll be fine. Help lead the way and create opportunities for introductions. You’re the extrovert so help an introvert out! This time I won’t look at my watch, I’ll try to fit in with your crowd and be as inviting as possible. I’ll even smile. Miracle, right? Just goes to show that’s how much I care about you. In return you own me two days of silence, lots of chocolate, and a new book. Excellent, glad we could find a way to bribe me into going to this party so that you┬ádon’t have to show up alone.

Kindest Regards,

You Closest Friend

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