Tag Archives: problems

Pessimistic Introvert

Dear World,

What is a pessimistic introvert?

I’m constantly getting remarks about how I should smile more, talk more, be nicer, think more positive, etc. Do I disagree with them? No, not really I could smile more, talk more, be a little more positive, but to me that would be giving a false impression of who I am. I’m a pessimistic introvert. My glass is half empty and I like that about me (see that was positive). The beauty of being a pessimist is that I’m rarely disappointed. Being a pessimist means if something doesn’t work out well I can’t really be sad about it since I didn’t think it was going to work in the first place. I feel like growing up I learned to talk less because I was always being badgered about the fact that I was “so negative” and being told to “be more positive”. Being an introvert helped in the fact that I study people and only really talk when I have something to contribute. To think people are always being told you have to listen more. Try being an introvert and you’ll learn that skill real fast. Combine the two traits together and you get someone who’s really quiet and almost always mistaken as shy or embarrassed which is not the case at all. Secretly I’m just judging you, but am nice enough not to say it out loud.

Kindest Regards,

Your Closest Friend

Advertisements

Today is a Sad Day

Dear World,

What is your life’s blood?

I always thought I should answer this question with a reasonable non commercialized response, but alas I’m only human. My life’s blood is my books. My world beyond the reality of this one. Now why you ask is today a sad day. Well my Kobo breathed its last. Five years we’ve been together dancing across Sahara landscapes, fighting and conquering kingdoms, falling in and out of love. I’m terribly sad to see it go. For someone who spends so much time reading not having that book readily available is depressing to say the least. I suppose now I’m going to reread the classics from my childhood, since I haven’t bought a book a physical book in over five years. They’ll have to sustain me until I can find an eReader with a button to turn the pages. Turns out those are actually hard to find!

Until we meet again Kobo I’ll be dreaming about you.

Kindest Regards,

Your Closest Friend

P.S. Yes this is dramatic…no I’m not kidding.

SOMETIMES I WISH I WAS AN EXTROVERT

Dear World,

How do I become an extrovert if I’m an introvert?

I can’t imagine losing the introverted part of myself, but sometimes when I look at extroverts I get jealous. Exceedingly jealous. They easily interact with groups, they appear confident and all knowing, they can make friends easily, and they are the life of the party. Whereas I stand on the fringes looking at the world around me wishing I knew what to say and how to interact with them. It isn’t the people that scare me, or the situation per say, but the after. Making new friends can sometimes mean building a new world. How much time do I devote to one group and how much time can I devote to the other without angering anyone and still giving myself much needed solitude. It takes time and effort to nurture new relationships because the defenses I throw up need to crumble. Extroverts always look like they make friends, and maintain those friendships so easily because they don’t need to devote as much time to themselves. They’re comfortable going out and I’m more comfortable staying in. In that regard sometimes I do wish I was like an extrovert open, alive, and in control of social situations. Although, never disregard the introvert. We’re careful about who we let in, but when we let you in you’ll see sides of use other only get to glimpse. And – we’re pretty fantastic.

Kindest Regards,

Your Closest Friend

RUNNING OUT OF EXCUSES

Dear World,

Why do I have to come up with excuses to sit at home alone?

I’m busy, I’m tired, I have work to do. The vagueness of the excuse means I just don’t want to see you or anyone else at the moment. Using excuses for the most part makes my life easier. You don’t get hurt because I don’t want to hang out, I’m suddenly busy and not some loser who just wants to be alone, and it make me sound less depressing. Except, why do I even need to come up with an excuse? Everyone need alone time at some point, introvert, extrovert, and ambivert alike! Let us all embarrass that side of ourselves that says “hey, you need some time alone”. From now on I’m just going to tell you I’m drained and need some time to recharge, without you, alone in my room, with netflix, and popcorn.

Kindest Regards,

Your Closest Friend

feeling like i don’t belong at the party

Dear World,

Why do my friends insist on going to house parties when they know I spend the entire time wishing I wasn’t there?

No, sorry actually I don’t want to go to that house party. I’m awkward, it’s awkward, people you don’t know actually want to talk to you, and frankly I’m a terrible drunk. Parties that are small and intimate, okay! Big parties where you abandon me? Not okay! Definitely, not okay. Stick by me and I’ll be fine. Help lead the way and create opportunities for introductions. You’re the extrovert so help an introvert out! This time I won’t look at my watch, I’ll try to fit in with your crowd and be as inviting as possible. I’ll even smile. Miracle, right? Just goes to show that’s how much I care about you. In return you own me two days of silence, lots of chocolate, and a new book. Excellent, glad we could find a way to bribe me into going to this party so that you don’t have to show up alone.

Kindest Regards,

You Closest Friend

Surprisingly, I AM NOT A HERMIT

Dear World,

Why don’t my friends believe I’m not a hermit?

Hermit is such a simple word, and yet it’s used against me. To try to convince me I should do something against my nature. If I want to go home to read, “Oh, you’re such a hermit”. Don’t want to go out dancing prefer to have a quiet night, “Stop being a hermit!”. Darling, I’m stubborn and an introvert. Calling me names will not compel me to bend to your will…remember the phone thing? You can’t use my nature against me or make me feel guilty for who I am. I may enjoy recharging on my own, but I also enjoy spending time with you and that my friend is the opposite of what is a true hermit.

Kindest Regards,

Your Closest Friend

PHONE CAN BE SCARY THINGS

Dear World,

How do I explain to my extroverted friends the reason I always screen my calls?

No, I am not shy and I certainly am not so quiet I don’t actually know how to talk. The simple fact of the matter is, I don’t want to talk to you or anyone else. The ringing of the phone alone doesn’t compel me to pick it up, it only compels me to see who’s calling. Maybe I want to be alone and answering a phone will ruin that moment. Or I don’t have time to talk to you. Just because I’m reading doesn’t mean I’m not doing anything. This is one of those situation where – sincerely – it’s not you, it’s me.

Kindest Regards,

Your Closest Friend